Tuesday 17 November 2009

Ghareba (26)

When i saw her face for the first time i had the most amazing feeling .. a7la sh3oor 7aseta eb 7ayaty! She was so different from what i imagine.. so cute and tiny.

When I looked at her eyes for the first time and kept her in my arms i had such a new feeling. Nobody told me how is it like to love your own baby, what exactly a mother feels. I didn't know how different this new type of love can be .

I was alone .. kelman rad el bait ynam .. Manori was sleeping .. I know in that day, she became everything in the world to me. I was so tired but excited .. so i didn't sleep ,, ga3da a6ale3ha shlon nayma .. i love her!
2nd and 3rd day was the Esteqbal .. kan wayed za7ma .. wayeed .. wanasa bas ta3ab.. bel 4th day i went to mama's house .. wel mas2oleya bedat! i decided to breastfeed manori .. matakhayalt that breastfeeding is very painful and extremely uncomfortable! .. o lazem ag3ad kel sa3tain arathe3ha .. ta3ab sij ta3ab .. bel nfas 7amad makan wayed yzorna .. yoom eyye o yoom la2 .. wetha ya mayeg3ad akthar men sa3ten.. wayed adeg 3aleh alga waiting .. y9arefni a7es mayaby ysolif ma3ay .. wayed hal shay athar 3ala nafseytyy.. and i was so tired lanni manam 3adel .. o etha nemt atefazaz kela a7alem ena manora enbagat .. aw 6a7at min el frash .. also i wanted to lose the weight i gained o ebnafs el wagt kent kela yo3anaa .. mama helps alot o kanat kela tzefni lani ma artha a7ad yamsek munani .. wayed kent akhaf 3aleha eb shakel mo 6abe3e ,, kent mahwosa fehaa .. a6wal moda nemt'ha ehya 4 hours! ba3den ag3ad lanna my breast y3awerni min el 7aleb! bekhte9ar gatrat el nfas .. really WE3! i was a happy sad mama!

14 Days .. 7anait 3ala 7amad eyele 3ogob el dawam .. "dalya tadren ana wara el dawam sayer anam"

"ee nam 3endena 3adey!"

"la la fashlaaa"

"laish fashla 7amad 3afya ta3al walla walhana 3alek"

"maykhalef 7abebe laman ag3ad amurech"

i started crying "enta kela kashet feni wet9arefni o mateg3ad ela shwayya o al7en atrajak etye etnam 3endena murathy laish" sobs

"7ayaty latabchen walla fashla shegolon ahalich"

"sheno shegolon enta raylii!"

"inzain bas latabchen bayye bayeee" i didnt ask him to come bas la2anna i miss him .. 3ashan aby a3aref shelsalfa! .. taghadena then dashena el dar .. 7amad enseda7 3ala el frash to take his nap .. o ana kint arathe3 munani len namat .. eltefatt 3ala 7amad .. he was sleeping 2 .. sooooo .. re7t akhatht his mobile .. went to the bathroom .. o ga3adt at3abath! .. ebhal yoom i called him arounf 2 o kan 3enda waiting .. so .. kan fe raqam ga3ed ysolif ma3ah 20 minutes bas bedon esim .. o dag 3ala hal raqam 10 elseb7 .. elyoom eli gabla 12.30 belail !! o 8.00 belail ... 4 el3a9er .. 2 eltheher .. hathela el awqat eli kanaw bel log! fe arqam wayed bas kanaw emsayeven eb esim shabab i know them hamads friends .. bas hal raqam .. madree .. fakart adeg wasma3 elsoot .. bas etha 6ala3 wa7ed! male khelg mashakel .. shasawe ya rabbi ,, khal ashoof el inbox msgs .. mako shay .. sent items .. legeta dazlaha
bel3aks 3ade laish tgolen chethy entay la emthaygatni wala shay degay meta mataben ..

o msg thani sadgeni ana wayed wayed mestanes eni ga3ed akhdemech 3ade yuba layredech ela elsanich

what the hell was that?! hamad! ambaih he's cheeting on me ???? i remember this number .. mara i was 5 months pregnant o kena bel shaleh .. he just came from his friends chalet at 12 midnight .. was smoking bel toilet .. o ana kent mensad7a .. wesala msg min hal raqam "Wainik?" ana sheft el msg .. o staghrabt ena raqam bedon esim .. o sheft el calls kan tawa emsakra min that number .. o i asked him who was that (bas mageltla eny garet el msg geltla wesalik msg wal7en el sa3a 12.30 meno dazlik?) o he said refeja tawa kan ma3ah tawa .. 7efatht el raqam yomha .. bas sadagta .. hatha nafs el raqam! ykalemha min wana 7amil! aaahh galbi :( .. akhatht el raqam o khasheta .. radet el mobile mokana .. o sawet ro7i nayma!
laman ga3ad 3abala ana nayma .. 6ala3 men baitna o madre wain ra7 ! .. i was in shock! how could he ,, seriously HOW COULD HE! .. i cried so hard that day o umi 6ab3an shafatni .. i told her what i saw .. i told her about the chalet incident .. "la7awla wala qowata ella bellah .. hal walad madre shsalfeta"
kent atshahag min el bachi .. i was so tired so so tired o makan y3amelni 3adel bel nfas .. laish ysawe chethy? ana ekteshaft wana bel khames .. min meta y3arefha ? sheno 3elaqat'hum ! laish chethy laish.. he really broke my heart! mama ba3ad wayed enkesar galbha 3alay "dalya alla ykhalech lattekadaren tara kel hal za3al yro7 bel 7alem o ydesh munani's system she1s a baby mata7amal el za3al"

"ya3ny shtabene asawe mama kelshay sawet sama7t o ta7amalt o ta3abt o mayqader wala sawa shay 7ag esteqbali u did everything o foog hatha ykhooni ? walla mastahal walla"

she huged me tight and said "walla matestahlen bas elshakwa lalla latabchen 7abebty el reyayel chlab lat3awren galbich .. 3a6eni elraqam ana a6ale3lich bayanat 3annah"

"sij ? tegderen?"

"eeh 3a6eeniyah .. o layadre 7amad enich daretay ebshay"

"oki" rte7t shway eni ra7 a3aref mino hathy .. o kent ga3da 3ala a39abi yomha .. 2 hourse later i got theis information .. Esemha nouf el flani .. 34 years old .. single .. teshteghel eb wezarat elkhareja aw eldakhela mathker .. 3enwan bet'hum .. raqamha el madani ..
"shbetsawen?"

"madre .. bas 34! akbar menah eb 10 years! wee3"

mama magalat shay .. bas sure makan 3ajebha .. ana wayed tghayart 3ala 7amad .. staghrabt mena .. o men tasarofata el sebyaneya .. i felt un loved .. 7aset eb naq9 .. ohwa shga3ed ydawer barra ? el self esteem wel nafseya was really down! 3 days later 7amad kan y7en yaby y3aref shfeeni .. wana madre shagoola .. so ohwa men nafsa gal ena yaby yetghada wenam 3endena .. ga3ad y7en shfech shfech .. i told him eny ta3bana men mjabal el baby .. laman nam .. i took his his mobile again o ga3adt ashoof again .. the number was saved under the name "Nweef" o kan emsolif ma3aha gabel la ydesh elbait!! sij mayeste7e 3ala wayha .. i felt angry .. so angryy .. wee3 7aqeer .. akhatht munani o re7t ag3ad bel 9ala .. laman ga3ad 3a6eta nafs shena .. sij makan le khelga .. o uhwa kan mestaghreb .. "shfech dalya 3asa mashar"
"ta3bana"

"kel ma aye ta3bana ta3banaa tara la3at chabde"

"!!!" i was shoked ,, didn't say a word!

"elsharha 3alay eli yaay .. ma3a elsalama"

"alla weyak!" .. no comment .. after this .. kan ydeg wana a7gera .. wagol 7ag mama etha daglich golela nayma .. ensan tafeh sakhef mayfaker ela ebnafsa .. agola ta3bana y3a9eb ! 3abala emjabal baby le3eb yahal .. fog hal ta3ab 7arakata elbaykha eli tkhale elwa7ed yet3ab zyada .. so after 2 days of ignoring him .. he called mama o galaha ena yaby y6ale3ni ..
"ambaih yuma shlon a6la3 wana bel arbe3en! bagele ba3ad sbo3en"

"maykhalef bas betemashon bel sayara"

"la mabi .. mabi ashof reg3at wayha"

"laa hatha raylech latgolen 3ana chethy"

"etdaf3en 3anna *sobs*"

"laaa .. latabcheen .. ana qasde marada lich o entay um benta aked y7ebech o sharech"

"lo sharene maykhonii"

"walla madre shagolich .. kaifech" ga3ad y7en 3ala umi 7anna ela yabe ymasheni ,, so akher shay i said oki .. defadet 3adel .. kan wayed bard shahar 1 2008.. rekabt elsayara wana mali khilg a6ale3 wayha .. a7esa waqe7! kint sakta 6ool el 6erej .. kan ysolif o yeth7ak bro7a .. o ana eb3alam thani .. shlon yegdar ymathel wesawe roo7a 6abe3e! .. so eb nes 6al3at'na ran mobilah! ga6et wayhe bel screen "Nweef" calling .. sawa mute o mashala..

"shela 3adee"

"la ba3den adegla"

"walla 3ade sakten muga3den nsolif"

"maykhalef akalma ba3den" makent aby a7en 3ashan mayshek ebshay.. re7na sharena sandwitches o 3a9er .. while eating nweef called again .. o 7aseta twatar shway .. o ana wayed wayeeedd 3a9abt! "7amad aby ared elbait sadre beda yentefekh we3awerni"
"shda3wa entay mo shaf6a tawa 7ag manoor"

"embala bas madre shfe sar fe 7aleb .. plz aby ared"

"7asafa kent bamashech shway 3al khalej bas yalla enshalla el yayat akthar .."

wa7na eb6erejna le el bait nweef called again .. "7amad sheelaa .. ethaher yabek tharori"

"3ade yan6er sheno 6ale3 ma3a murty ana"

"mmm .. meno hatha nweef?"

"hatha nawaf okho 3baid lesgher"

"cham 3umra?"

"laish tes2elen?"

"wayeed y7en!"

"la laish tes2elen?"

"ana eli laish as2al ? enta eli laish matshela tawa dag 3baid o kalamta! ba3den tawni adre ena 3enda okho sgher"

"ee mo kilshay lazem tadren 3anna o ana ared 3ala eli abeh weli mabi ared 3aleh mani rad 3aleh"

"deg aby asma3 sota"

"hahahaha 9a7ya entay shal 7arakat"

"7amad ga3da akalmik jad .. deg 3aleh aby asma3 sota!"

"mani dag"

"laish khayef?"

"o laish akhaf! shaka feni dalya?"

"la mo shakka .. ana met2akda .. hathy nouf el flani .. o 3umrha 34 o sakna eb **** o teshteghel eb *** o sarlik sh'hoor tkalemna .. fe shay ba3ad taby t3arfa?"

SILENCEEEEEEEEE

Sunday 15 November 2009

Ghareba (25)

He went to USA with his friends ,, 7aset ena fe shay enkesar dakhli .. shloon yroo7 wekhalenii eb hal 7ala ? ta3bana .. alone .. dasha el-thamin .. o awal mara a7amil .. shal galb! 7aset enah may7ebnii .. kint akhaf anam broo7yy .. sij eni eb bait 7amola.. bas ga3da eb sheqa broo7ii .. scary! eb hal fatra i felt heavy .. el7arej theba7nii .. a7es am lonley .. i needed him .. anany 7amad anany! .. nes el thamin sert ma agdar amshy a7es eb 3awar mu sij! so kint akheth sick leave 7ag el dawam .. o ga3adt bait ahalii.. he came back o kan bagely days wadesh el tase3 .. wayed share ashya2 7ag our baby and for me also .. to be honest .. hal marra i missed him o i was so happy laman rad!

9 months ..12 days ..
"dalooy bacher ahali bero7on el bar 7ag khaley o ana baro7 ba3ad etyeen ma3ana wela malich khelg?"

"eee bayyee wanasaaa wala mara re7t el baarr"

"khosh 3ayal lebsay shay ydafeeech la2anna hnak wayed wayeeed bardd"
i was so excited .. cheni yahel bewadona el tarfeheya .. malet men ga3dat el bait wel sad7a .. aby aghayer jaw .. o mag3ad ahala ywanes.. so the other day .. tedafait 3adel o re7na el bar ..
"Mashalla el bar kebeeer"

"hahahahaha shrayech ya3ni a7na eb 9a7raa"

"eee la7atht hehehe"

"mashalla tawech tla7then .. fe6ena murty"

"hehe ee smela 3alayy"

"enshalla bas bente mate6la3 3alech"

"heeeeyy"

"hehe" elmokan wayed emratab o netheef .. ywaneess .. they welcomed us with open arms, very cordial and polite .. suwalef o wanasa .. wel 7elo fehum ena ga3den kelena mo fa9len el reyayel 3an el 7arem .. o sowalef el ryayel tfa6es min elthe7ek wayed mughamarat .. after that we ate lunch and it was super delicious .. ghefait shway o 3ogob maga3adt i went to hamad and told him "hamad .. 3afya latgool la2 .. aby arkab bunchie" with cute puppy eyes

"dalya shfech smela 3alech yanetay"

"alla ykhaleeek eb kha6ri ebkha6riii tara yser bel baby shay" ayshay dalya :P

"agool ta3awethay men ebles o deshay dakhel latkhaleni a3a9eb"

"shda3wa" *teary eyes* madait bozey o meshait .. gabel la adesh el khaima i heard him calling me "dalooy ta3alay" i gave him the sadest look "mabi"

"ta3alay barakbech ta3alaay bas ana asoog feech"

"HEYAAAAA"

"hehehe walla mo9a7ya .. yalla ta3alay magdar 3ala za3alech"

"7amad .. magdar ag3ad warak ba6ni shkobra maykafe khal asoog bro7yy"

"t3arfen?"

"3alemnii"

"walla enich ga9a 3alay yalla rekbay"

i tried to bas ambaih am so heavy magedart as3ad "hahaha ambaihhh shelneee hahahaha"

"hahaha lateth7ekeeen lat6e7eeen"

"baas baaasss magdar arkaab hahaha"

"zain ne6ray ayeblich selaam"

i was laughing so hard 3ala shakli le darajat ba6ni gam y3awerni ouch! ,, yab daray sghayer 3ashan arkab! GOD ! "AKHERANN" 3alamni shasawe .. easy .. meshait o ga3da asma3a ysarekh "shway shwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" besmela! mamdani 7a6et sub3e 3al banzen! "DAlyaaa redaaayyy" 7egarta o ga3adt a7oos .. ambaaaaaaaaaaaih wanasaaa .. he was runnig after me masken .. bas marra bel 3umer i rally enjoyed my time! "baasss ogfaaayy"

"hahahaha shaklik mu sij wenta tarketh waray"

"nezlay nezlay sij mu kafo a7ad ya36ech wayh" he was so pissed off

"shda3wa! yalla nazelni" dashet el khaimaa .. faj2a 7aset thahriii wayed y3awerni wayeeeeeeeedd o wayhe n9efag so khalty munera asked me "dalya fech shay?"

"khalty thahri wayed y3awerni"

"kela men halli rekabteh ta3alay ensad7ay shway .. kelesh mala da3eey" ooh! kaifi .. enseda7t o refa3t rele 3ala makhadaa .. ouch ouch y3aweerrr .. aby ared el baittt .. ambaih la2 la22 AYY! i called hamad "aloo"

"hamad aby ared el bait"

"shfeech!"

"thahrii y3awerni .. mani gadra"

"yalla yalla kani yaay"

dashet el toilet 3ala ma eyeb el sayara .. sheno hatha? chena blood? ! OMG .. i called mom "MAMAAAA DAM DAM" i freaked out!

"SHENO DAM SHFECH!"

"fee dam wardii fe dam"

"nezal menech dam??"

"Eeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"weeeh 3adeey .. yalla enshalla lech 3 ayam o tolden"

"ya3ny mara7 olad bel bar?"

"hahahahaha laaaaaaaaa mo kon fa yakoonn .. ana wala mara nezal 3alay dam bas eli a3arfa eli yanzel 3aleha dam ya3ny 7erwat el 3 ayam o tolad .. khafef wala wayed?"

"la 7ada khafeef"

"weeh 3adey bas reday el bait erta7ay lata7arekeenn derebalich 3ala 7afedtyy"

"ok" sakarta bas mate6amant .. i told hamad he freaked out 2! he told khalty and she said nafs el 7achi eli galeta umi ... after saying goodbyes to evryone ,i called my cousin 3ndaha babya 3umrha 1 year .. "hii anwaar" i asked her o galatli "3ade ana nezal 3alay shwayya khafeef o wegaf 3ogob sbo3 waladt"

"ya3ny aro7 el 6abeeb wela la2?"

"et7esen eb 6alg?"

"ana shdarani sheno 6algg .. thahri y3awerniiii"

"hehe yro7 weyye wela thabit?"

"la lazeg feni mayfech"

"mmmm .. enshalla mako shay call ur doctor mala da3e tro7en" i called doctorty o galat nafs el shay .. bas i wonder what is 6alg? eeff .. that night i couldn's sleep well .. thahri thabe7nii .. o kint awaswes kel shway achayek etha fe dam wela la2! Morning .. zad el.blood .. chena am having my period! bas 3awar el thahar ra7 .. "saba7 el khair shlonich elyoom?"
"el7amdela a7san bas wayed dam!"

"taben awadech el 6abeeb?"

"la mako shay y3awernii"

"mmmm.. Enzain ana baro7 el shaleh etyen ma3ay wela awadech 3end umich?"

"la la baye ma3ak"

"akhaf tet3ebeen"

"mat3ab bayye ma3ak .. khal abadel degega" .. wesalna bel salama .. makan feni shay bas el blood kan eb habal! .. temashait shway ma3a 7amad then ra7 shaleh rab3a o ana ga3adt ma3a 7amolty .. after ghada thahri shab 3alay again!! 3awar mu sijj.. i was calling hamad mayred so i called his father .. "3ami ga3da adeg 3ala 7amad mayred wana wayed ta3bana mat3aref raqam a7ad menrab3a?"

"yabnayty 7amad 6ale3 7adag .. ashof yemken a7a9la" laa2! muwagta .. enshalla mako shay! .. la2 la2 khalas mugadra at7amal! o ga3da atwatar weenah! aby ared aby areeeddd .. sarat 6 o ahal 7amad be7adron men shaleh .. "ha dalya etyen ma3ana wela tan6eren raylech"
"la khalty baye ma3akum wayed ta3bana" madre shlon ta7amalt el 6ereej .. kanat el sa3a chenha yoom kamill .. wedi abchy bas maska roo7e .. etha lel7en kel hal 3awar mo 6alg bante7er! awal mawesalt bab sheqete ga3adt abchyy .. after 15 minutes he called "ha 7abebe shfeeech"
"waineek waineeek" i was crying .. really in pain

"rad min el shaleh shfeechh"

"wayed ta3bana aby aro7 el 6abeeb al7eeeeeeen yamdek twadeni wela akhali umi twadenii"

"la ne6ray sheno umich twadech rob3 sa3a wana 3endech" awal ma sakart el telephone khalty dashat o shafatni abchii "shfeech dalyaa shelle y3awrech"

"khalty thahri manigadraaa!"

"yroo7 wered?"

"laa emchaleeebbb mugadra ag3ad 3ala 7ailyyy"

"yuma deshay seb7ay eb may 7aar 3ala ma eye 7amad .. etha zad 3alech ya3ny 6alg wetha ra7 ya3ni mako ela el 3afyaa"

fachait el may o ga3adt 3ala el arth .. mugadra ogaff ..seba7t bser3a o re7t badalt o ga3adt an6er raylyy .. "haa dalooyyy" awal mashefta i started crying "ta3bana ta3banaaa"
"yalla 5 degayeg asba7 wawadech" laaaaaaaa2 ! ba3ad 5 degayeg ! magdar!! sekat madre shagooolll ayy ayy :~( .. after 5 minutes he came out mo metsabe7 wala embadel o he said "haa lel7en taben tro7en el 6abeeb?"

"ENTAA MEN SEJEEK! TA3BANAAAAAAAAAA TA3BANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA 3ABALIK GA3DA ACHATHEEEEBBB ! ANA AL7EEN AWADE 3UMRIIIIIII WALA MATHALETEEEEKKKK" I WAS EXTERMLY TIRED AND ANGRY! YESTA3BE6

he huged me and said "ana bas kent bat2akad ena min sijech hal mara ta3bana"

"HAMAD LATYANEENEEE BETWADENE WELA LAAAAAAAAAAA2" am sure ena 3yoni 6la3at men lesrakh "yalla thuwani thuwaniii walla bawadech"

"BAAS ESKET O DESH BADEEELLLLL YALLAAAAAAAA"

khalty fachat el baab "shfekum shfekuum"

"khaltyy *sobs* ana *sobs* mugadra at7amal *sobs*"

"yalla yalla al7en enwadech .. 7amad yoma yalla ebser3aa .. dalya nashfay sha3rech"

"magdar magdaarr" .. rekabna el sayara o hamad called mom o galaha ena ray7en el mustashfa .. awal ma wesalna 21.00 sa3edoni foog o 3a6aw shay 3ala ba6ni 3ashan yshofon fe 6alg wela la2 .. 7a6aw el jehaz o ashof mom tsawe chay! "hach sherbay"

"sheno hatha?" "darseeen sherbeh zain" "sharabta kela eb 1 second! .. i can feel contractions while the nerse saying ena mako shay! how come! a7es eb shay ghareb ga3ed yser 7ag ba6niii! yat el doctora el monawba o sawatli ba79 3ashan tshof cham santy mafto7a! o kan da yoom esweed! Aaaaaaahhh y3awer 3ama eb 3ainhaaaaaaa dafshaaa "malik umal 7ate3mele eeih bel weladaa!"

"entay dafsha! shway shwaaayy!" mu3ajebha ba3ad! wagta tkhare3ni hathyy! 7amad 3a9ab o zafha o gal maby hathy tdesh 3ala morty .. wagtek enta el thanii lol! tgol eni mafto7a 2 santi .. "erga3e el beet o ta3ali bokra"

"walla ma at7arak min mokaniii .. ba6niiiiiiii a7es eb taqalo9aat" the nerse said "mako shay habebtyyy"

"SHENO MAKO SHAY! I CAN FEEL IT" yat eta2akad ena el jehaz rakeb 3adel .. 7a6at edha wela tshof el contractions raqamhum 3aleey! "oh my god u r right maybe something was wrong with the machine!" la walla ! ela entay mu7a6eta 3adel malat 3aleech!! "escuse me sir" khathat 7amad o 6la3aw barra .. "nurse ta3alaayyy whats wronggg" elyahel eb ba6ni wet7achi sir! ahh kent em3a9ba 7ade yomhaa .. "7abebty benazlonich ghorfat el 3amaleyat" mom said! yummah ! 3amaleyat! sound scary!!! ga3adt abchyy "khalas hawant mabi olad" *Sobs*
"mara7 t7esen eb shay alla ysahel 3alech kelna waladna" I was excited but scared. now am sure am in labor.. ghorfat el 3amaleyat kanat wayed 7elwa! chena ghurfa 3adeya .. feha sereer .. flat tv .. qanafat 7ag 5 persons .. bathroom .. kan 7amad mawjod ,, his mom , mamaty , khalaty (moms sisters) yaw bel 12.00 7adhum mekhtar3en .. i felt love .. after about three hours my contractions were only five minutes apart .. makent rathya akheth shay .. i was screaming min el 3awar o kent khafya cuz my doctor lel7en mayat o el doctora el munaweba el khaysa yat ba6at may el baby .. min kether masarakht 7amad mesak el kamam o 7a6a gha9eb 3ala wayhy! 3ogobha khedarttttt .. etha ya el 6alg agoom wetha ra7 anam .. bas kint a7es eb soot sada moz3ej etha a7ad tekalam aw ta7arak .. faj2a yali 6alg o i was screaming chan ashof my doctor .. "aaaaaaaa ... laish ta2akhartaayyy"

"heheh kani 7abebty mafech ela el 3afyaaa" "haa meste3eedaa?" she was smiling o ambeh 7adha 7anona .. bas mu wagt sowalef! "plzz 6al3ehaaaa BAMOOOTTT AAAAAAAA" faj2a yat el nurse o 7a6atli drip "wakhraaaaaaay aaaaaaaa"
"dalya shofeeneee .. 7awlay tdezeen"

"ma3areeefff shloooooooooonnnn aaaa bamoott 6al3oohaaaa" :"( 7aset eni ga3da amot sij! kint shway daykha o madre shga3ed yseer bas eli a3arfa eni so in pain o aby el baby ye6la3 .. kent mu3arfa asawe push .. i tried maybe 7 times or more ma6la3at el babya .. "dalyaaa .. el baby wayed ta3bana 3afya sa3deeneee push push" i pushed so hard o ken fe 2 nurses 7a6en edhum 3ala ba6ni o wdezona le ta7aat OUCH! faj2a nemt! then i heard my baby crying bas min el ta3ab magedart afech 3yonii .. i felt ena 7amad was crying .. huging .. kissing my forehead ..
Finaly .. baby monira was born!

Wednesday 21 October 2009

Listen , Carefully!

كبرتني يا هم
.. دخيلك قول للدنيا أنا عمري الحقيقي كم ؟
كبرتني يا هم ..
تروح سنين من عمري
تضيع وما احد مهتم
ما عاد لي فيها أمل
.. هالدنيا هذي يوم عمري ذبل حلمي انقتل
.. فرحي غدا معدوم
ابعرف وش سبب حزني
.. ابعرف وش سبب لهموم
كثير احزان في الدنيا
.. سببها دعوة المظلوم
أمانه يللي سامعني
.. اذا اني ظلمتك يوم
تعال و قل مسامحني ..
ترى والله جفاني النوم
وحالي صار حالي غم
.. كأني ما دعتلي أم..
وكل ليلة تمر أقول
.. كبرتني يا هم
!أنا ما عشت ابد سني
.. ولا حسيت غير الآه
احس عمري رحل مني
.. واحلامي ارحلت وياه
زماني يروح ويذبحني
واعاني من التعب و القاه
واقول الله يعوضني
.. لي الجنــــه بإذن الله !
allah y3awethni... Dalloya :*

Monday 12 October 2009

Ghareba (24)

Trust issues in our marriage will eventually destroy it. how can i trust him! i feel that i dont know him anymore! illy sawah mu shwayya .. wel muskla ena maybayen eb 3aina , and when I ask him laish he cheated ygooi "MADRE ELSHE6AN GA9 3ALAY"! aah .. he's not honest, I know sometimes the truth hurts, but hiding it only makes it worse, he treats me right only when he's doing something wrong! even though qarar enah ra7 yetghayer .. ra7 ashek! it will probably be tough to trust him again..my pregnancy was wayed mut3eb .. o hal salfa khalatni karha kelshay .. if i wasnt pregnant chan radet bait ahalii .. i hated the fact that i am tired o jesmi ra7 yekhtereb 3ashan wa7ed mayestahal .. taghayart ,, sert ka2eba .. 7azena .. mag3edi momel .. ra7at el ebtesama men wayhy .. kela saktaa mali khelg wala shay ! few weeks later 6ala3 esmi bel jareda "wathefa fe wezara min elwzarat" .. re7t .. sheft el mokan .. mo nafs ma ana aby bas a7san men el ga3da bel baitt .. malal o qamta .. o elwzara yakhthon wa7da 7amel 3adey i was 3 months pregnant .. JUNE 2007 .. 3ogob mashtaghalt eb sbo3 7amad safar cause 3enda finals .. kint 7a6a eb bali "aked he'll cheat on me" bel6agag! shasawe ya3ny .. alla yahdeeh ..

kan wayed ydeg ytesharah .. lani makent as2al 3anna kether awal .. cuz mali khelga .. wala le khelg sotaa .. aby arta7 menah shway .. eldawam kan boring ,, nothing to do bel first week , 7ata maktab makan 3endi .. ba3den laman 3a6oni maktab sar el wath3 shwayya a7san .. 3endi net ,, kint a7es eni ray7a internet cafe mo dawam ,, min adesh len a6la3 wana emjabla el net .. ba3den shway shway bedet at3araf 3ala elli mawjodenn ,, hamad rad min maser .. kan esteqbali 7agga bared .. and he said " a7es hal marra mawalahtay 3alay" i smiled .. ee sij ,, mawalaht 3aleh! weird ! a7es mako masha3er tejaha .. ba6 chabdee.. so one day we had a fight
"ya3ny sheno elwa7ed mayghale6 getlich asef o taghayart o sert zain maybayen eb3ainech"

"embala ybayen .. bas khalas ma7es eni agdar atheq fek!"

"ya3ni shtabeni asawee SHTABENI ASAWE!"

"latsawe shay o raja2an lat9arekh tara mali khelg"

"OOH BEL6AGAG!" mmm .. maynon! el nejra kanat wayed a6wal men chethy bas ana khte9art'ha .. on july re7t maw3edii 3end el doctora .. i was 4 months pregnant .. o kent 7adi aby a3aref feni bnaya wela walad .. bas mabayan .. tgol el 7abel el sere bain el ryool! ana kint 7asa ena feni bint .. after 2 weeks min hal maw3ed re7t mustashfa el hadi .. kan ba6ni wayed y3awerni .. i went alone ..
"mafe shay 7abebty ,, everything is normal alhamdulella .. do u know whats ur babys sex?"

"not yet"

"baby girl .. see" bnaya ? wakhtyy .. sheft el screan bas mafahamt shay! "i'll print it for u" wayed estanast enha ebnaya o 7aset ena 7amad mara7 yestanas wayed so hal shay wanasni zyada! can u blieve this ! .. re7t 7ag umi wel kashra men hni le hnaak .. "Yummaaaa tawa re7t el 6abeeb o galatli sheno ebba6ni"

"zain zain , ha bnaya wela sbay?"

"hach shofay el sonar yemken t3arfen?"

"ashof .. we sheno hatha thalma hehe"

"ee madre gelt yemken t3arfen hehe .. shetewaqe3ain?"

"mmmmm madre elli eye min alla 7ayah alla bas chanzain bnaya"

"eeeeeeee bnayaaa"

"SIJJJ .. *tears* el7amdella el7amdella ya7elo elbecher le 9arat bnaya wallaa" *kisses

"hehehe ee a7es cute"

"wanasaaa 7ag el nefanef wel shbabeee9"

"hahahah , yumma .. et'hagen 7amad ebyestanas wela ytheg khelga"

"waihh ! etha mastanas ma3enda salfa ma3alech mena"

"mm .. mara7 agola .. laman aro7 7ag doctorty agola eye ma3ay o as2alha ya3ny cheni lel7en madre .."

"ee a7san ba3ad"

2 Weeks later .. August .. kint bel shahar el khames .. ra7 weyay to the doctor laman dashena she said "enshalla hal marra ybayen .. ashoof .. mmmm .. mmm ..."

7amad kan ykhez el screen o ana kent akheza , since i know sheno feni kent aby ashof radat fe3la .. "mmm .. ya7leelhaa .. Bnayaa"

He had the biggest smile on his face "el7amdella" he seemed happy .. rekabna el sayara .. "dalya .. latgolen 7ag a7ad"

"laish?"

"bas a7san , akhaf 3aleha min el 3ain"

"baih shda3wa ! sheno ya3ny magol 7ag ahali?"

"la 3ade golay 7ag betkum bas baje ahalech mala da3e yadron"

"aha ok!"

"mo 3an bas la2anna ahalna ykheshon fa 7atan ana bakhesh"

"inzain kefkum .. bas lazem agol 7ag khaltyy"

6ab3an kel my family DARAW ,, lani fethe7a o 3ade 3ende agol bas kent agolhum jbal 7amad sawaw ro7kum matadroon .. when i told his mother kanat radat fe3elha barda she said "zain el7amdela" bedon eye contact o g3edat t7e6 sala6a .. staghrabt shal brood! so i told hamad o shsawa ! thani yoom 3al ghada he told her! o el kel kan ga3ed

"yuma , dalya tgol a7es ena umik mo mestansa lana feni bnaya" aby mawqef yfashel akthar men chethy! i blushed!

"laa bel 3aks ana a7eb el banatt o min 3ogob 7amad o okhoh kent aby banat bas alla marezagni wel7amdela 3ala kel 7al o entay shayfa ena khawaty aghlab thereyat'hum sbayan bel 3aks a7na n7eb el banat o nabi banatt o a7san ena ma7ad yadre .." min el feshela sara7a mathakar sheno radet 3aleha !.. ya7lelha she didnt ask me about ANYTHING .. kent astaghreb bas a7san .. el weird thing ena fe nas min ahala kelesh mo meyana ma3ay .. o malhum 7ag yes2elon .. yeg3edon ysa2loni sheno fech bnaya wela sbay .. le el sades kint ared madre bas ba3den 7amad galli "golelhum 7amad mayertha agol" so kint agolhum chethy.. and wain betsawen esteqbalich o kint ared "madre lel7en masheft" bas i was already emqarera eb royal 7ayat .. o maskena mama galatli ena she'll pay for everything .. awal shay marethet i want him to pay ba3den galatli ra7 az3al etha makhaleteni.. so i said ok ,, bas estaghrabt ena 7amad retha kelesh matwaqa3t .. at the end mama 7ayaty she paid for the hospital , my bed cover , hdom el esteqbal , el giveaways , sweet and chocolate .. EVERYTHING .. o ohwa maga6 shay! weird weeeirdd! ..

October 2007 .. 7amad qarar ysafer ma3a rab3a! "dam eni emyame3 flos o umich qarerat enha betekafal eb kelshay 3ayal basafer USA ma3a rab3e shahar 11"

"min sejek!"

"ee laish ana thayeg khelge menzeman mastanast! o enta lo tegderet tsafren chan safarna!"

"aah ! ok"

"shda3wa dalooy tara mayza3el"

"ra7 akon bel thamin 7amad! bala sar shay!"

"la enshalla mako ela elkhair ra7 ared gabel latdeshen el tase3"

GHAREB!!!

_________

Love u ALL o sorry 6awalt 3alekum ;*

Sunday 11 October 2009

Ghareba (23)

Hiii Banaat :** miss u .. el post kan wayed a6wal men chethy bas wana akteb faj2a kelshay enmesa7 :~( enqaharttttttttttt .. nafs el mawtho3 bas details aqal ..
_____________


After few days , beda el morning sickness EEW.. I feel nausea all the time .. matroo7 KELESH KELESH! .. mali khelg shay .. la a6la3 la akel wala asma3 wala atkalam .. bas mensad7a 7ata ma6ale3 el tv! .. o foog hatha million marra adesh el bathroom ! o khasatan belail :~( .. 7amad kan wayed zain o nafseyta shwaya metghayra bas makan yqader eni ta3bana .. 3abala atdala3 when i was sooooo tired!

"ana umi kanat tet3ab akthar menech o 3ade kanat emjablatna o te6bakh"

"lo3a 3an lo3a tafreg ana lo3ty mo rathya tfech o a7es jesmi metkaser!"

"shako tafreg entay mara wehya mara! o jesmich metkaser men el ga3da gomay ta7arekay!"

"..."

"entay wayed redeya ana ma7eb morty tkon chethy"

"7amad ta3bana ya3ni sheno tabe asawe!"

"3an el dala3"

"ok ana atdala3" *sobs* .. i was so 7assasa .. o sij sij siiijjjj kent wayed ta3bana o a7es ma7ad 7as bel ta3ab elli fenii .. 7amad makan yeg3ad bel bait .. kela bel dewaneya .. o ana ga3da bro7i bel dar .. 7ashatni qamta o thejaa! .. akher shahar khamsa 7amad said

"dalya tara bakheth el labtopich ma3ay lana mabi ashbek min computer eldawam"

"ekhtha" .. kan laman yred o ydesh el sheqaysolif ma3a wa7da ygol enah ma3ah bel dawam .. ana 7taret awal shay bas ya3ni m9akhat almost every day .. o the7ek o ghashmara o ana emshayen el nafs 3alay! .. so gumt min warah at3abath eb mobilah!

o yoom min el ayam kan bel bathroom ydakhen .. leget bel sent msgs



TO: 858

M q8y****@hotmail.com

zasdf



I had big (!) on my face! sheno hatha ba3ad! GOD.. plz no! baghet amotttt men el7araa ,,sawet forward 7ag el msg 3ala mobiley .. o mesa7ta men his sent msgs! how could he! laman 6ala3 min elbathroom i asked him: "7amad"

"hala 7abebty"

"dawamkum mafeh sheghel?'

"embala laish?"

"la2anna kha9 a7essa karaf fa mestaghreba enik ga3ed takheth el labtop"

"ee karaf bas marat 3endena faragh .. laish tes2elen"

"3ade mujarad so2al"

"mmm .. bas aked fe shay min wara so2alich!"

"laish enta ga3ed etsawe shay ghala6?" el-chathab yeftha7 nafsa eb nafsa!

"hahaha ay shay sa7 ana gayelech a7os eb google! bas estaghrabt awal mara tes2elen"

"la 3adey chethy ma3a el sowalef.."

"sowalfech nafs wayhech"

"mashkor" fake smile

"za3altay sa7 ! ayshay dalya"

"laish az3al mako shay yza3el"

"we3 nafseytech el khaysa! ana dash anam!" masken! so obvious ena warah mo9eba .. i wait him tell he go to dowaneya o achayek shsalfay hal e mail!! around 6 he went out em3a9eb cheni ana el ghal6ana .. o ana a7es eni kent a7tereg min dakhli!! .. i signed in .. wela shashooof! .. 60 coantacts bel msn KELHUM BANAT .. bel recieved folder leget sorat cham ebnaya! o fe 2 dazenla el cv malhum! ya3ny sheno beshaghelhum ma3ah eb nafs el mukan! ambaih!!!.. eb emaila .. 3araft ena 3enda hi5! maskhara over 200 girls eb his account .. also Facebook .. i was really hurt .. really .. wayed becheet .. jara7nii .. laish ysawe chethy ana shnage9ni... sheno 3ajba eb hal mojtama3 el wasekh! ana sama7ta o 3adet'ha awal mara eb mazajy lani sadagt ena mara7 y3edha .. bas this time .. sheno 3ethra .. am pregnant :( 7aram 3aleh 7arnii wayed .. sara7a kheft 3ala my baby min el 7arrah! ra7 awajha .. o i'll leave him .. bs i'll wait tell tomorrow 3ashan afaker 3adel...

yomha magedart anam bas saweet roo7i nayma .. laman nadani 7egarta .. elkhayen :( ga3adt abchy 6ool el lail i was so me7taraah! elfayer .. sawetli fake hotmail account o sawetla add .. 3ashan a3aref el seb7 ay 7aza yashbek .. o sawetli fake hi5 sawet add 7ag random people o ohwa menhum o sawet accept min 3enda ,,

The next day .. elsa3a 9 i went to mama's how lana bait'hum mafeh net .. ghayar el profile info bel hi5 .. o can on msn .. i went back home na6reta ysharef ..
"salaaamm.. dalooya shfeech chenech ta3bana"

"ee men el lo3a" sad face

after lunch .. "7amad wain el e-go bawarek shay"

"shenoo?"

ta3al shoof" i typed his email bel MSN window .. o 3ala6ool 6la3at el sora elli ga3ed yestakhdemha .. "sheno hatha?" 7aset enah metwater o 3yona 6la3at .. "ana ase2lik sheno hatha?"

"aaaa .. eeeeeee hatha e mail refeje tethakart!"

"email refejek shesawe eb labtopy?"

"la2anna ohwa gali asawela may3aref!"

"aha .. ya3ny ment kateb el password?"

"agolich email refeje ana sh3arafni bel password!" 3a6eta nathra "o rasech ma3arfa!" .. "ooh! o rasi ba3ad?" then i typed the password o sawet sign in .. khema6 el labtop menni ... i was trying to get it back bas he pushed me and said "dalya wakhray 3anni la a3awrech" .. ana kheft 3ala 3umri so tana7t eb mukani! then start crying ! "eli matabene ashofa ana shefta .. o tethakar enik 7alaft chethb .. o hali dazetni 3ashanhum khal yenf3oonik!" i walked away "dalya la7tha" 7egarta o 6ala3t jan6ety o kent age6 aghrathy ga6 dakhelha "entay shga3da etsawen"

"ana ray7a bait ahali watmana wregty to9alni!"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yanetay sa7!"

"EE YANET ENTA KHALET FENI 3AGEL"

"E7TARMAY NAFSECH O LAT3ALEN SOTICH"

"esket weli y3afek enta khalet feha e7teram" ga3ad y6ale3ni wana a7e6 aghrathy .. i took my car key "heey enta wain 3abalech betro7en!"

"plz wakher" faj2a he was on his knees huging my leg! "asef wala asef walal bagolich shay alla ykhalech latro7en"

"3ogob sheno 7amad khalas enta kharabt kelshay" *sobs*

"dalya alla ykhalech sam7eenii walla a7ebech o madre shlon sawet chethy entay 7abebty o um 3yalii o morty o kelshay ana magdar a3esh bedonich?"

"3AYAL LAISH ETSAWE CHETHY!! ANA EMGA9RA!!"

"walla mo emga9ra .. walla mo entay el sebaab .. menee ana .. ana madre laish sawet chethy"
he huged me and cried so hard .. o ana ba3ad .. i was in pain :( .. "walla el 3athem mara7 a3edha walla ana ghayart el pass o khaleta kharabe6 o ma7efathta aqsem bellah o mara7 tshofen mion elyoom o raye7 ella elli yserech"

"7amad! magdar atheq fek!"

"walla o a7leflech 3al qor2an eni ma3edha o etha dashet el hi5 aw facebook again ta7remen 3allay .. walla ma3edha"

"heey 7aram tgool chethyyyyyy"

"walla mara7 a3edha wallaaaa sam7eni dalya walla a7ebech"

Sama7ta! bas min 3ogob hal salfa 3esht eb shak .. theba7ni!

Thursday 1 October 2009

Ghareba (22)

I was setting in the living room .. fekra etyeebni o fekra etwadenii .. so afraid min radat fe3la .. etha salfa tafha o 3a9ab ybade3 feni .. shlon etha kan shay nafs hatha? astahal ma7ad gali asawe chethyy .. hal marra ana el ghal6anaa , bs ya3ni it was long time ago..he is frustrated because i lied !.. bas a7es ena radat fe3la OVER! i know it hurts bas ya3ny he has anger management issues!! .. elwagt kan sare3 o ba6e2 eb nafs el wagt .. wain ra7 ? wain raa7..

I was lying down on sofa staring at the roof when he opened the door .. i stood up with awe look in my face .. AMBAIH .. 7araam obviously he was crying :(
"ge3day" ga3adt .. o ohwa ga3ad 3ala el sofa elli yami .. nazal rasa o 7a6 eda 3ala his cheeks .. kesar kha6ri o 7aset bel thanb .. so nazalt rase too.. "shfeha relech?" there was a bruise

"min el jan6a eli 7ethaft'ha 3ala reli"

"SIJ!"

"ee sij" *sobs*

"laish tabcheen"

"thayeg khelgy 3alli 9ar .. mo el qasd eni achatheb 3alek .. bas walla ana makalamta walla el 3athem"

"hatha shay sar men gabil lat3arfeni .. maykhalef nensa el mawtho3 o nefta7 9af7a yededa o manyeb 6are hal yoom"

"akeed maykhalif" i huged him min galb .. that's a relief "asfa plz latez3al 3alay"

"ana ma6ala3t min 6oori ela la2ani a7ebech .. ana ba3ad asef" .. "dalya etha a7ad shaf el ratha shbetgolenla?"

"eni 6e7t .. o mara7 albes shay ykhaleha etbayen lana we3 sarat banafsejeya tkhare3"

3ogob hal salfa .. kelshay rad 6abe3e .. means hamad yro7 el dewaneya almost kelyoom o ana aro7 3end mama .. gamat atfah el tawafeh tkhaleh ynarfez .. yred men el dawam emshayen el nafs .. o yet7al6am min eyee len ye6la3 .. ena ohma mayqadron o madre sheno bla bla blaah ..
week later ...

"ayy ayy ayyyyy 7amaaaddddd ta3aaaalll" ba6ni kan wayed y3awerni o metkawda bel frash chene rebyanaa .. masken yali mekhtere3

"DALYA SHFEECH SHFEECH"

"shway shway latekhtere3 .. *sobs* baa- ba6niii .. mugadra at7amaal"

"goomai ebser3a khal awadech el 6abeeb"
badalna ebser3a o re7na el mostashfa .. ne6arna nes sa3a 3ala ma ya doorii then el doctora sawatli sonar o galat

"you are not pregnant .."

".." shako pregnancy bel mawtho3!

"mafe shay habebtyy hada tabweed"

"sheno mafe shay *sobs* ba6ni y3awerni wayed"

"some times it hurts .. ana yakteb pain killer ok"

khazet 7amad and whispered "hathy shakelha mat3aref shay" min kether ma ana met3awra kent em3a9ba o wedi azne6ha! "7abebty ehya doctora wet3aref"

"fe mara 3ada yet2akhar?"

"ee last month"

"kam yoom?"

"mmm maybe 10"

"mafe hamel?"

"NO .. doctora ba6ni"

"dalya look here" kan fe mojassam ra7em "bowayda shwaya 7ajem keber .. laman yetla3 shway y3awer ok 7abebe"

"is it normal?"

"yes its a good time to have a baby" my eyes popped out of my head ambaih waq7a! he looked at me with evil smile in his face .. he was so happy hehe! rekabna el sayara

"shfech em3a9ba"

"la2anha qalelat adab"

"hahahahah!"
___
Days later .. 7amad kan tawa rad min el dawam .. "dalloy shofay sheno yebtlich"

"hatha shenow??"

"internet 7ag labtopich 3ashan matmelen elseb7"

"allaaaah mashkoor 7abebeee"

"yebay el labtop khanasawela install"

kan wanasaaaa .. coz bet'hum mafeh wireless net .. el seb7 ana nayma ! bas sar 3ende shay alha feeh laman ye6la3 wag3ad broo7i bel bait .. so 3ogob cham yoom he said .. "dalya dam entay nayma 6ool el nahar o ana dawami elsheghel 7ada khafef bakheth'ha el seb7 oki?"

"eeee 7adda ok shda3wa! aslan mastakhdema el seb7 hehe"

"ee walla bedal laytheg khelge bel dawam agazerha sites"

o sij 3ogob ma gam yakheth el net ma3ah .. a7es nafseta taghayerat o 7ada sar 6ayeb o khosh wa7ed!..

Days later ... May, my period 3 days met2akhra , i went to boots to buy home pregnancy test , sharait 2, awal yoom 6ala3li negative , 7ata thani yoom .. o ba6ni kan wayed y3awerni o mabi agol 7ag a7ad .. so i called my new best friend shayokh she's newly married o el wa7eda elli mag6a3at 3ani laman tzawajt..
"hiii"

"shayookh lel7en mayatli bamot ba6ni thabe7niiii"

"mmm .. shofay ana ma3aref ebhal sowalef bas chena etha sawetay blood test a7san"

"way laa2 ebra la22 7ade mabii"

"ehya shkether met2akhra"

"3 daysss .. ana 3ade bas kela min el doctora shakekatni tsadgen .. thek elmara tgooli laman eta2akhar 3alech lazem tyeen o tgool yemken kent 7amel o 6a7 wana amdre! kalba sa7"

"ee ma3alech menha .. ne6ray shwarach heh"..

"inzain sem3ene fat7en mall yeded esma el manshar khanro7 enshofa"

"oook"

re7na hnak .. baih b3eeeeed .. o shakla bayekh o aghlab el ma7alat emsakra ..
"SHAYOKH EMSHAY BOOTS" re7na o sharet 4 home pregnency tests..!

"yal khebla hehehe laish kel hathaa"

"7ag kelyoom wa7ed .. len etyene hehe .. 3ad etsadgen 7amad shaf wa7ed ana ga6eta tekremen bel zbala"

"7elfaaay ! o shgal"

"gali ebnafs sheina o em3a9eb "hatha sheno" geltla chan ygool "eeeeh!"

"tara raylich mo 9a7ey"

"yeah i know hehe"

so .. day after day I was doing this home test .. o laman an6er el result ambaih a7es galbi yerga3 madre laish .. bel 7th day 6ala3li POSITIVE .. I loughed so hard .. I almost got tears min el far7aa .... I am so excited .. extremly happy .. sh3oor ghareeeeb .. madre laish gumt arketh bel sheqa tedoodaht madre shasaweeee .. hamad was out with his friends o kena metnajren .. o athker garet bel net ena marat el home test ykoon ghala6 so i decided to call mom ..
toooooooot ... tooooottt
"Alo"

"yummaah" sad voice lezom el tamweh

"shfech mama"

"3adtey met2akhra sarlaha sboo3 o aby asawe ta7leel dam"

"zaaain el 7amdela"

"yuma 7aram 3alech ba6ni y3awerniii"

"ee 3adee 3adeee yalla ta3alay ana na6retech"

when i arrived leget'ha na6ratni bel 7oosh .. 7aram ommyy .. she opened my door and said
"enshalla khair .. nezlay khal asoog"

"hehe shda3wa yuma agdar asoog"

"akeeeedddd?? haaa fech 7ail"

"hahahaha am not pregnant yet!" way zoogha :* .. rkebat el sayara

"ro7ay el salmeeya fe mokhtabar hnak .. 7alat feh laman kent 7amel feech"

"baih hehe! b3eed yumma"

"maykhalef khanro7 hnak mako a7ad kela fathy"

"oki"

:( .. qazoni ebraa .. o galolena nan6er barrah.. ya el.nurse so gumt o 3a6ani elwrega o gali "positive" .. ana eltefat 3ala umi maleget'ha .. i looked down wela 7abebty sajda sajdat shokor .. o gamat lamatni o g3edat tabchii :'') "el7amdela alf mabrook 7abebty" (way khnegatni el3abra wana akteb) "hehe mashkora yuma laish tabcheenn bas tara abchyy"

"smoo3 elfaraaaa7 ba9eer yaddaa .. 3ad al7en mo ebkaifech ana basoog"

"oki hehe" elwath3 kan wayed sa3ed

"mama meta betgoleen 7ag 7amad??"

"laman yred el bait"

"Hhhhhhhhhh *shhegat* 7aram 3aleeech degay 3aleeeh al7eeen bachreeeh"

"ok hehe"

i called .. shalah o kan emnafes shway
"na3aam"

"hala 7amad weenik" yamma z3aaajj

"weenii .. bel nadi ya3ny wenii"

"mashghool?"

"shfech?" he was worried

"ammmmm .. ana 7amel"

"goolay wallaaaa ... la7tha la7tha" he was walking away from his friends "dallooy goolii walla"

"walla heheh"

"shdaraach!"

"tawni emsawya ta7leel dam"

"wain ma3a mino"

"mama"

"ooofffffffff 7ade mestaneeessssss weenich?"

"raden el bait al7en bel da2eri el thalethh"

"oki bye"

"haa shgaal"

"ygool 7ada mestanes hehe" wesalna bait ahali wela ohwa wagef barra o 3yoona ghargana bel dmoo3 .. nezalt o he huged me belshare3 o kan yabchiii .. "mabrook 7abeebbee bas lemha dakhel hehe"

"el7amdella el7amdellah" he huged mama 2 and said "3ameety matsadgen shkether mestanes el 7amdela alla ebyarzegni o ba9er obo!"

and finaly that was a happy moment .. thanks god.

Monday 28 September 2009

Ghareba (21)

Flash back:
Awal maradena min el "HONEYMOON" 7amad bel ma6ar 7ajaz 7ag dubai o ra7 7ag rab3a!..
_____

Eb.Hal 3 Days elli safar fehum 7amad stanast .. fathfatht 7ag mom .. sij mabaredat chabde bas 3al aqal gelt elli ebkha6ri.. i went out with all my friends , we really had fun .. ana shay thani bain rab3ee .. ensana sa3eda o fa9la , they know nothing about me and 7amad [mama's advice] .. hal 3 days teswa safrat el 3 weeks!

msg recieved Dalooya al7en rakeb el 6ayara .. 7ade walhan 3alech :*

i sent back : Bel salama 7abebe , ayelik el ma6ar?

La rab3e beredoonii ;)

I was setting in our living room , watching tv waiting him to arrive ,,I wasn'y excited , to be honest .. I didnt miss him at all! faj2a , he opened the door7ail and screamed out my name
"DALLOOOOOOOOOOOY" *6rakh* rega3 el baab ..

wegaft .. he hugded me so tight and said "etsadgeen fegadtech kelesh matwaqa3t eni ra7 olah 3alech" kesar kha6ri 7aseta sij walhan 3alay bas .. i didnt!

"7ayatyy ,, el7amdela 3ala el salama"

"alla ysalmiich .. chenich mo walhana 3alay?" sad face

"minsijek ! ambeh 7ade fegadteek"

"hehe ee embayen .. haaa sawetay jan6eetyy"

"la2 lanna fe ashya2 madre wain a7e6ha fa gelt laman tred nsaweha ma3a ba3ath"

"wallaain .. shda3waa le hal daraja malich khelg"

"la bel3aks bas walla ya3ny .. madre..!" plz dont start a fight!

"6ool 3omrech ananeya!" he gave me his back and went to the toilets to take a shower ..I was sad , not because what he said .. bs the fact that I am acting .. it hurts! .. laman 6ala3 min el shower "dallooy ta3alay khansawe jan6etee .. ge3day yamii" ga3adna n6ale3 el aghrath o ohwa ga3ad ysoolif 3an dubai o enna laman ra7aw hnaak kan fe sebaq formula race 7ag el speed boat o enna he really enjoyed his time "awarech le9war .. sij dalloy dubai 3allaam! mashalla" he was really happy .. el7amdela enshalla yser zain ma3ay .. "weeeeeee3333333"

"BESMELAH! shfeek khara3tnii!???"

"laaa bas tethakart ena bacher dawam"

"hehehe alla ysam7ek wagaft galbii"

"daloy khali el khadama tathrebli el ghetra wel deshdasha oti , ana bakheth monawem 3ashan anaam la2anna kelesh mo yayatni el noomaa.."

________________

Thani yoom .. ran el alarm 7.00 ,, o kelshway ysawe snooze leen 8.00! god ! goom eff .. o el alarm soot makenat 7elaqa! aby ez3aj akthar!!!..he went dawam.. and becouse I dont have a job .. anam 6ool el nahar .. o ag3ad bel 12! .. aro7 ag3ad ma3a khalty muneera leen yred 7amad bel 1.30! o kelyoom yzefni laish mas2al 3anna laman ykon beldawam .. actually akon nayma mo fathya adeg bas at3athar eni asolif ma3a khalti :P ..

"elsalam 3alaikum" hamad said while grapping the news paper and setting down..
"wa3alaykum el salam" "hala yuma"

"yuma sheno el ghada el yoom"

"deyaay bel feren.." ga3ad yegra jaredta then 3ammi ya ma3a el yahal "7umwani lesghar" .. o 3ogob taghadenaa .. later on that day .. he was trying to call his friend ..

6oo laa leee66 .. 6oo la leee6 .. "OOFF !! KHARA G6A3AW KHA66I"

"weeee" alla yaster!

"o qasaman bellah 7aywanat ana kha6i vip shlon yeg63ona .. yser khair .."

he called zain o tanajar ma3ahum! ambaih , 3aleeh 270 o em3a9eb .. ee edfa3!

"dalya .. wain kha6ech elqadem elli kentay tkalmeni menah wana eb ma9er ?"

"mmm .. mawjood eb baitna bas mathker wainaa"

"sheno ya3ni matathkeren!"

"etha tabeeh adawra!"

"ee yebeh lana ma3endi flos hal shahar tadrenn .."

"enshallah.."

"meta betyebena??"

"elyoom etha re7t 3end umi ayebaa"

"waih ,, ya3ny ag3ad 6ool el yoom bedon mobile"

"etha tabi ta3al ge6ni a6ale3lik el kha6 barra"

"la la khalas an6er le belail" ..

as usual 7amad ra7 el dewaneya .. and me to mamas house .. re7t dari ,, i opened my drower o ga3adt adawer el mobile bain el dathra .. ashwa kahoo .. o switched on the phone .. dashet 3al inbox o chayakt 3ala el msgs .. all of them was from 7amad .. i was smilling while reading his msgs and remembering that days .. kan 7ada sweet madre shelle gluba! .. chayakt etha fe msgs bel sim card .. o 6ala3li ena el sim card empty .. mesa7t el msgs elli min mayo o khalet only his msgs ..

back home ..
"7amad tara yebtlik el kha6 .."

"welmobile waina?"

"kaho mawjood tabeh?"

"la bas as2al .. 3a6eni khal arakba eb mobiley.."

kint a7oos bel mokan ,, mathker sheno kent asawe bas sheft 7amad faj2a 6akh .. minsede7 o wayha .. madre .. masdoom ? ,, madre sheno kanat ta3aber wayha bas 7adek khtara3t!
"ha shtaghal?" i jumped next to him .. chan ywakher!..

"shfeek?"

he was so angry o moving his fingers o reading something i dont know what! am sure eni mas7a kelshay whats wrong!

"dalya.." so cold , not hamad!

"hala2?" my heart was pumping fast ..

"mmmmmmmm .. awal shay wakhray 3anii .. o ge3day b3eed"

"shfeeek 7amad ?" i put my hand 3ala his sholder..

"GELTLICH RO7AY HNAK DALYA LATJESEENIII!!!"

wakhart and I almost had a heart attack ! shelsalfaaa!? o ga3ad emnazel rasa and moving it like "Noo noo no" .. 5 minutes later ..
"TA3ALAY , SHENO HAL MSG" yet bakheth el mobile "WAKHRAY EDECH ANA AMSEKA!"
i saw the msg o couldnt believe my eyes .. it was

Hi Dalooy am So Sorry kent Nayem o Maga3adt eLa 7.00! Yet Badeg 3aLa My Friend Wela Mobiley Mag6o3 ;/ Tawni Dafe3 Belma6ar Sorry Sweetie , Did u Call ? @@

ambaih ! msg 6alal! twahagt ! t9arwa3t .. sh3ori kan no comment! gumt ateshahhad..!
"HATHA MINOOOOOOOOOO"

"..." freezed

"DALYA TARA ANA MO 7MAR WALA GHABI O ANA GAYELICH MA7EB LA ELLAF WALA EL DAWARAN ANA SA2LICH GABEL KINTAY TKALMEEN GELTELE LA2 .. GELTELEEE LAAAAAAAA2 HATHA SHENOOOOOOOO"

"walla makalamtah" walla bs msgs :( .. ef shal garadaa

"3ABALICH ANA 7MAAAAAAAAAAAR .. SHENO DID U CALL ? DID U CAALLLL ?? 3ABALICH MASHOOFF HATHA SHENOOO .. STAGHFRALLAAAAAAAAAAH SHASAWE FEECH SHASAWEEEEEEE" 6ala3 min el ghorfa o rega3 el bab .. ambaih shasawee .. kint wayed khayfa le darajat ena madre shasawe .. akeed ebyethba7ni .. re7t akhatht jan6ete 3ashan baroo7 bait ahalii .. am so affraid.. i opened the door and i saw him setting on the floor staring at the screan!

"KHAIR? WAIN 3ALALLA?"

"..."

"THELFAY DAKHEL LATSHOFEN SHAY MAYSERECH"

"7amad baro7 baitna" *sobs*

"entay ghabeya WELA TESTA3BE6EEN" he pushed me and said "THELFAY DAKHEL MABI ASHOFECH"

"MABI AG3AD MA3AK ABI ARO7 BETNAAA"

he pulled my bag wenga63at I really got scared .. ambaih 3awarni! .. a7es ga3ed ykha6e6 7ag jarema.. galab jan6ete o ga6 kel el aghrath elli fehaa .. then 7ethaf el jan6a 3ala rely! i cried so hard .. kan fe my ring box, khashab .. min el 3awar khtanagt .. "BAS EKLAY KHARA 3AN EELTAMTHEL" and he went out.. i was in SHOCK
faj2a he came in , pulled me out of the bed .. put my head in the floor .. and said "MINO HATHAAAAAAA O SHENO 3ELAQTICH FEH"

I was crying so hard "7amad alla ykhaleek hednii walla bagolik kelshay" .. I told him the truth .. ena baina bas msgs .. bas I lied and said ena he didnt see me o may3aref my real name .. "3ayaal hal msg shenooo!? did u call ???"

7ade meftashla wana agola bas shasawe! "Walla kint adz msgs o marad fa daget rana bashof mobila moghlaq wala mafto7 walla 7amad walla makalamtaa o etha momsadegni roo7 se2la walla roo7 se2laaaaaa"

"SHESMAA"

"6a .. 6alal" *sobs*

"6ALAL SHENO"

"6alal el.flaani" *sobs*

"WEL AKH WAIN YESHTEGHEL"

"yeshteghel ebb ... eb zain" he was wa6aneya .. bas kheft yethba7a!

"O MITA 3ARAFTEH!"

"shof tarekh el msg walla menzeman min gabel la a3arfek eb wayeedd"

Silence..........

"mashi dalya .. ana ba6la3 o qasaman bellah en radet o malegetech bel bait la awarech FAHMA"

"enshalla" ..

*door slap* ... ooh shit ! not sure whats going to happen .. bas aked shay maybasher bel khair!
I am starting to wonder if we really are meant to be!

_________

Sorry na6artkum wayed .. sij ena i dont know u in person bas walla u mean alot to me :*

7adi a7ebkum cuz entaw amaaaazing commenters :** Terf3on ma3nweyatyyy , etbardoon chabdee o tkhalooni astanas .. u r free to say what ever you want walla 3ade sebaw 3a9baw golaw elli tabonaaa tmonon ;*

-Dalooy

Sunday 27 September 2009

One Day i'LL Kill My BOSS!

Awal Shay Hii .. 7adii miss u ! kelesh matwaqa3t eni eb hal 3e6la mara7 akteeb bas sha2at el aqdar ;( .. anyways shlon awal yoom dawam :P heh .. eljaw 7elow shway y3adel el nafseya ,, walla eni yayya meshta6a ga3da akteb post weli etye my boss wet7en o tagreg wai3 waaai33 .. ketabt bas 12 sa6er ;( .. 7ada mayeswa i publish it ..enshalla i promise tomorrow awal ma aye mara7 aba6el shay bakteb wakteb 3ogob bajabel sheghlee ..

Love you .. ALL

Bagolikum salfa 3al saree3 .. there is a boy 3umra 6 years old .. so cute .. was swimming with me bel ba7ar "he is related to 7amad min b3eeeeddd".. o laman sar bard ga3adna 3ala el yaal nel3ab bel ramel .. he was begging me to sleep bel shaleh bas geltla
"magdaar"

"alla ykhalech dalya bas el yoom"

"hehe walla magdar"

"laish mategderen?"

"uhwa mo ma agdar .. ma a7eb"

"eee laish mat7ebeeenn" wayha so cute

"la2anna el 9bayan yes'heron 6ool el lail ez3aajjj o el seb7 ez3aj el khadamat . .sheno
matesma3hum ??"

"mmm laa mala7atht .. bas ana marat belel asma3 aswat tkhaleni abchy dam" ana khtara3t! plz
talk about anything el a el yananwa!

"aswat shenow???????"

"ya3nyy .. mmm .. marat asma3 umi o oboy yethaweshoon .. galbi y3awerni walla abchy abchyy
len ykhalson .. o 3ogob maynamon beleel bel dar ag3ad broo7i abchy dam wala abchy dam" he
was pointing his face with his hands

"laaa aked uhma ysolfon bas enta 3abalik yet'haweshon"

"la dalya walla yet'haweshon .. ana marat asma3 omi tagfel 3ala ro7ha el baab o oboy ysarekh "FECHI ELBAB" o ehya tgoola "roo7 mabeek" .. aakh walla 7asafa chanzen umi o oboy mo chethy"
how sad :( .. ana awal mara asma3 yahel ygol galbi y3awerni .. o abchi dam ! ambaih masken hatha sheno nafseyta ! 3ad he is so sweeet o 7aboob o zoogha i really loved him 3awar galbi 7abeebeee ..

"inzain mo lazem tnamen bas le3bay ma3ay janjefa belail"

"afa 3alek bas ? 7ather al3ab ma3ak"

"yeesss heyaa" and he was jumping min el far7a ! CUTE

so belail ga3adna nel3ab janjefa o 7ada kan mestanes o laman khalasna he said "dalyaaa ,, tara ana wayed a7ebech" waaaaayyyyyyy .. walla sij kelmeta 3awerat galbi sarli sneen mo sam3at'ha :P he's so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

o bas enshalla i'll post tomorrow

a7ebkum :*

Byeee

Sunday 20 September 2009

3edkum mbaarak ;)

Hiii all ;**
3asakum T3oodoona kel sena ya raaabb

7asafa khalas rmuthan ebser3a :(
Enshalla u'll enjoy el3e6la bas sema3t ena eli yeshtaghloon bel khaa9 ra7 ydawmoon :(

Shbetsawoon bel ejaza??

El3ed ghleega lana manigdar ne6la3 cuz yseer ghazo men makhloqat ghareba o mushayfa kheer !! Enshalla yser eljaw 7elow 3ashan nroo7 elchalet

Akhatht my sleeping pills at 9 ,, o ga3adt al7en cheni 3etwe I need to sleep ;(

Ya rab astanas , adre mu wagta bas am so angry tanajart ma3a person sakhef o y7eb elmalaq ehbal fayer!!! Guess who!!

A7ebkum all wenshalla I'll post soon

-Dalloy ;*

Friday 11 September 2009

Ghareba (20)

The next day after our breakfast .. awal madashena our room "shfeech emnafsa"??

"momnafsa ,, mafeni shay!"

"tadren shloon .. ana la3at chabde badeg 3ala el safareyat 3ashan nred abchar"

"a7san" re7t ga3adt bel balcony .. qaharni! ana elli lay3a chabdee mena .. uhwa elli ysawe mashakel not mee .. a7san khanred gabel la ente6agag!! he was talking on the phone in a loud voice .. bla bla blaa then he said "abeek etmadedli el safra ba3ad 5 ayam" i was in shock! ba3ad 5 more days eith 7amad ! no noo .. wegaft o radet dakhel akheza .. "ee phuket madedha o bangkok khalha 3 ayam " .. "mashi shoof o gooli" .. "mashkor maga9art .. ma3a elsalama"

i cried .. min eli ga3ed y9eer .. min 7amad .. min el qahar .. o 3ala ena a7na yayen nestanas o ohwa ga3ed ykhareb elshay .. min a39abaa .. 3ala el new life elli kelesh matwaqa3t'ha chethy.. "dalya shfeech tabchen?" he huged me .. i cried more and more

"7abebty mo qasde a3a9eb bas entay narfaztenii"

*sobs*

"walla ana lo mo mestanes chan mamadadt el safra bas walla ana mestanes ma3ach"

mestanes ? 3ala sheno !!

"7abebty alla ykhalech latabchen ana asef .. ma3ani mo ghal6an bas asef"

what can i do ? i am stuck..

"dalooyyy"

"7a9al khairr"

"ba3ad 7a9al khair! tara entay el ghal6ana! o mafakartay te3tathren"

ga3adna 15 minutes kel wa7ed ygol 7ag elthani enta elghal6an.. "khalas yuba ana asfa o 7agek 3alay.."

"shayfatni yahel bas taben etsakteni ! ashkara mo mengalbich"

"khalas yuba 6awef "

"lani a7ebech ba6awef ..yalla badlay khanroo7 nshof lena re7lat o enteshamas shway"

that was my safra with hamad .. sa3a 7elwen o baje el yoom metza3len .. re7na wayed amaken 7elwa .. bas lani za3lana mastanast .. akher yoom fe phuket .. i was putting my clothes bel bag when he recieved a phone call .. eli fahamta ena his friends ra7 yro7on dubai bel yoom eli ra7 nosal feeh elkuwait .. he was loughing min kel galba wehwa ysoolif ,, he was happy .. enshalla doom .. 7aset eni ga3da at3amal ma3ah ghala6t .. ka yeth7ak o ysoolif ma3a his friends... kint sar7ana afaker .. when he said " daloooooy shfech 7agratnii"

"sorry sahait masema3tek .. amerr"

"sheftakren feh"

"thayeg khelgi mabuga shay wenred el dera" obviously i lied

"sij dalya .. ya3ni estanastay ma3ay?" madre laish kesar kha6ry .. sij ohwa wayed 3a9abi bas laman y6ekh maykhaleni ela le rathanii ,, 7aset enah min el noo3 eli mayamsek a39aba bas galba 6ayeb .. bas ya3ny lazem yelga 7al !

"ee 7abebe o laish mastanas ya3ny" ashkara yadre eni ga3da achatheb .. coz laman ajamel wayhy ykon wayed jamed..

"a7es eni sagalt'ha wayed"

"hehehe shda3wa .." ashwa enik 7aseet

"ashofek mestanes 3asa doom"

"laa .. etsadgen el yoom eli ra7 nosal feh lekuwait rab3e bero7on dubai"

"laa .. khal yro7on 3alehum bel3afya"

"eee bas le radet shasawe ag3ad bel bait"

"laish enta mat3aref gherhum"

"embalaa bas hathy el dewaneya elli kela aro7lhum takhayelay wala wa7ed bekon mawjood.."

i smiled .. o ga3adt a7e6 baje aghrathy .. o he was lying down .. "shayeshoni wedi aro7 ma3ahum"

"shlon tro7!"

"a7na moghayarna 7ajzna o ebradatna ben6ub transit dubai?"

"ee?"

"anzel wentay kamlay le elkuwait .. shrayech"

raye enni .. en9edamt! "haa? shloon ared bro7ii??"

"shda3wa kelha sa3a bel 6ayara o to9len"

to avoid fight fight i said "oki etha hal shay feh wanastik ma3ende mane3"

"ya ba3ad chabde wallaaa"

"bas wain ebtasken mo chena malik ma3ash hal shahar??"

"la 3adey khashle shwayat flos o ba3den ma3a rab3e bente7a6a6 mo kelwa7ed ghorfa"

fe bangkok .. etefaqna eni a7os fe siam paragon wel malls elli yamma .. wehya y7os bro7a .. lana mako wagt entesawag o ma7ad la khelg yan6er el thani .. eb hal 3 days lanni kint bro7i a7oos .. o ashtere .. 7aset ena nafseyte taghayerat .. wayed stanast .. bas kent met'thayga ena 7amad bekhaleni o bero7 3end rab3a .. shda3wa en6er 4 ayam weredonlik .. shakli khayes jedam ahali o ahala wana rada min el honeymoon bro7i !! fe ma6ar dubai .. "eltransit sa3a yser nanzel men el 6ayara emshay ma3ay" .. "dalya ne6ray hnii" madre wain ra7 bas 6awal 3alay .. ba3den shefta yay soobi em3a9eb "wain re7t zara3tnii.. shfek em3a9eb??"

"ygoloon lana tathkarti lazem osal le el kuwait lazem ynazloon kel jna6na min el 6ayara .. wekhaloni 3endhum bel markaz len tosal el 6ayara elkuwait.. wetha sar ayshay bel 6ayara ana at7amal el mas2oleyaa"

"ulaa ullaaa yam3awad red el dera a7sanlik .."

"shal ghaba2 ared el kuwait ba3den aye dubai mara thanya !"

"latred khalaa99.."

"emshay enred el 6ayara khano9al el kuwait we9er khair.."

KUWAIT AIRPORT..

laman 6ala3na kanat khalti mneera o rayelha .. umi o ekhty el sghera mawjodeen .. salamna 3alehum then galli 7amad "daloy ana baro7 ashofli 6ayara etha fee ebhal sa3ten bared dubai etha made bag3ad oki"

"3ala ra7tek" kint a7es eb sh3oor ghareb .. kent agool fakka khal yathlef 3ashan arta7 shway men nejreta .. o ag3ad ma3a ahali walaht 3alehum .. o thani e7sas: kan thayeg khelgy o menqahra ena tawna raden bekhaleni o yroo7 7ag rab3a!

"dalya wain 7amad" khalty asked

"ygool beshof etha lega 6ayara bero7 dubai 7ag rab3a"

"wee shfee min sija! tawa rad elkuwaitt"

i smiled "shasawe ba3ad uhwa yabe chethy"

"ya3ny nan6era wela nroo7?"

"nan6era bel sayara wetha malega eyelna"

"betyen ma3ana wela ma3a khaltich??

"etha besafer ared ma3a khalty 3ashan ayeb hdoomi waye ebsayarty"

"yalla 3ayal meshena"

my phone rang .. 7amad

"hala 7amad"

"7ayaty 7ejazt 3ogob sa3a 6ayartyy"

"zaain el 7amdelaa"

"za3lana?"

"la 7abebe mako shay yza3el roo7 estanas"

"mashkoraa byeee .. derebalich 3ala ro7ech"

"enshalla .. byebye"

"haa lega 7ajz?"

"ee 3ogob sa3a 6ayarta"

"dalya.. wentay shlon rethetay yroo7"

"khalty 3abalich etha geltla latro7 ebyeg3ad.."

"walla hal walad ! alla yreda bel salama enshalla"



while staying at mama's house i tolf her what happend in thailand o she said

"maykhalef mama hatha raylech wel mara mo kelyoom laha rayel lazem eta7amelena o ta9beeren 3aleeh wenshalla allah ebyahdeeh .." o aqna3atni ena elwath3 6abe3e .. wena el denya chethy mashya!

_________________

Love you readers walla ..

Dalloya